如果初恋.....

可能是电影看太多，梦发太多，总是在想。初恋，电影里，总是甜的，总是最完美的。那天看了牛导的"初恋红豆冰"里的初恋，切切实实地与现实标了个等号。现实里，初恋永远都是甜甜蜜蜜的。但，这只能对开始时说。当双方的甜与蜜渐渐淡化时，伤感与苦涩就开始出现。

如果初恋是一种病，我希望是爱滋病，无药可治，永远都不会不见。爱滋病的痛，有如感情里的问题。小者，头昏脑彰。大者，留下一身一世的疤，痛。

如果初恋是一种食物，我愿是糖水，永不淡化。糖水的甜，打从你放进嘴里的那一杀那就甜入心里。虽然喝多了会有后遗症，但我宁愿甜死，也不愿意哭死。

如果初恋是交通工具，我情是脚踏车。虽然刚开始会跌得伤痕累累，一旦学会就一生难忘。脚踏车给我们的是美好的记忆，没有所谓的"学车惊险" 或 "撞车记＂。有的，只是骑着它，迎着风的感觉。

如果初恋是痛的，希望关心与友谊能为你痊愈。如果初恋是悲的，但愿我能为你开解。

如果初恋发生在我身上.........我望你的每一个早晨与夜晚都是开心，愉快的。

Money and life?

While I was still sleeping in the morning of 8 o'clock, the stupid damn house phone is ringing. Damn it, I haven't sleep enough. The call is about attend a Majlis Kecemerlangan SPM 2009 Zon Bangi on this Sunday. Of cause I'll go because this kind of event mostly will give out money to me~~~

Afternoon, my friend told me that we can check the form 6 list via online. So, I immediately asked for the link and check it. Actually it was nothing to be surprised. My name of cause will in the list seems I didn't apply for the Matriculation. And it also not a surprise that they put me under science stream seems I was a science stream student in the past 2 years.

Now, I got a lot of things to be worried about. First, the school stuff that I have to buy next week. It'll cost roughly RM 200-250 exclude the school fee and books. Second, I have to go change the science stream to art stream seems I don't want to continue as a science student. Hope they will consider my apply. Last but not least, I have to work hard to handle the new subjects that I will be learnt soon which are Account, Business and economy.

I have to spend a lot of money to study and I study to earn money. That's how money and life link together~~~~





~~~ HELL~~~

又来发花癜

１８岁一个人，喜欢过的４个。现在有来多一个。别说我花心，我只是在被拒绝后很快放弃。
典型白羊，感情来得快，去得也快。只是，我总觉得自己怪怪地。总是喜欢上相处一段时间的朋友，总是没想到会喜欢上的。
可能是独子的关系吧，总是想找个人给我疼，给我关心，被我保护。所以啊，搞得我总是重女轻男，总是被人说重色轻友。哎～～～
当双手被学业或活儿给占据时，脑子也没什么喜欢谁不喜欢谁。但，只要没东西干时，就～～～～
没用的家伙，１８岁而已，就想这想那。先改变自己的性格和脾气再来谈吧～～



～～～杀～～～

启动引擎，再次出发

懒懒的四月即将告一段落，充满刺激的五月将要来历。不说也不懂，我已经过了 1／3 的2010，在过八个月又老了。时间还过得真快。

四个月里，也没干什么大事业。赚了千多令吉，但也花了不少。脑力，退步着。人呢，胖着。口呢，还是一样的衰。总觉得这四个月过的未免太快了吧。

朋友，读书的，努力着。朋友，当兵的，抱怨着。我，在家里，闷着。好可悲！！！

五月，要到了，要开学了。没什么惊喜。因为我继续当我的中学生，穿我的校服，搭我的巴士。哎～～～想到要重新适应环境，朋友，学业，整个人就软了下来。可能是太就没有目标了，做什么都懒懒下。

但我一点也没怕过，就因为我是典型牧羊座。随时都能适应新的环境。也因为是典型牧羊，搞得我整个四月闷呆了。哎～～～

是时候把自己搞一搞，酱才能干一番大事业。



冲!!!!

Thank you

One of my BFFF is going to study in Singapore next Monday. It's just a few hours ago he get this news from his mom. I'm so happy for him but on the other hand I feel so sad because I didn't think that we will be apart this early. It's his wish to study oversea so do me but he has this opportunity faster than everyone else, I'm so happy. Thank you for accompany me when I'm depressed , thank you for the first birthday present, thank you for the first birthday cake and finally, thank you for come in my life and be my most precious friend. I'll miss you and do remember to drop by my house when you come back to Malaysia.

It's still not now

Just had a small chat with my old friend in a cafe. He's older than me 3 years and is my good pal since I standard 1. He's now quite succeed due to the part time job he has now. He has his own car and I'm quite envy. He's now inviting me to join a network marketing company, Q******t. I can see that the money I can get from that company and I know it's a good chance to go for it. However, I don't think now it's the time because I'm going fomr 6 and I don't think I will have enough time to participate in that sector. The member fee is RM2000 which I think it's quite ok but I can't afford it now. RM2000, what can you do with that money? A laptop? Save in your bank? Buy something you need? I think it's worth to use it as a chance to make money. But now still not the right time.

Things I want to do before or I'm 21st

I had a chat with my friend yesterday and in a suddent, my brain had a flash about what I want to do before or I'm 21 year old. You can say it's a laughable stuff but I do really hope I can do what I have listed out here before 21st or when I'm 21st.

Thre is no any TO DO IT FIRST in the list, so it doesn't mean I will do it first if I put it in the first number.

1)Buy a condom. I would like to do it this year but keep it without any use is quite weird, so I'll do it when I get a girl. Of cause it's for emergency.

2)Visit the shops which sell sex things. There are 2 shops which I wanted to enter since I was form 3. I Need House and Naughty Condom.

3)Get a girl friend. This is quite ironic because though I have confessed several times but it just doesn't want to be fruited.

4)Hold the hand of the girl I like when we crossing the street. It seems romantic and I really want to do it. Of cause I'll make sure my hand doesn't sweat that time.

5)Go to a blood donation. I saw a poster last few days and it did left something in my mind and also heart. I think it's time for me to do something good to the society.

6)Enter the casino and play gamble in there. This is for sure I'll do it when I reach 21 because the casino in Genting Highland only allow me to enter when I'm 21.

7)Kiss the girl I like. I don't know when will be that day but I hope it will before my 22th birthday. Should I do something romantic to earn that kiss or I'm thinking to much beyond the reality.




Those are the things I wanted to do and hope will be all be done within the age range of 18-21.


*Oh God, this kid is thinking too much and so called DUMB*

当恶魔成人时

今天是我的18岁生日，也是我妈十八年前的受难日。和往常一样，我的生日都是自己过。但，今年就有点纳闷，无聊。以前，都是在学校过，虽然没有什么礼物，而且还要挨揍，但却是过得开心。今年生日落在周末，生日前，还以为能与一班人去度过这一天，但最后却什么都没有。有点悲。

在［非死不可］祝福我的，还蛮多的，但祝福语就很草率。电话祝福我的，感谢你们。到我家来的，我感激...（可以哭吗...lol）。认识的，不认识的，很熟的，不熟的，我都感谢你们的祝语。感谢那些我常欺负，但还是记得我的。感谢那些我与你的交情不怎么的，但还是祝福我的。感谢那些在当着兵的，却还是想起我的。

今年，没有所谓的礼物，但却多了感动的祝福。今年，没有那么多人与我度过生日，但却多了很多人记得我。今年，有了人生第一个蛋糕，却没人唱生日歌。但，我仍然感谢你们。

你没有祝福我，是我看不开，还是你忘了？你的短讯中没祝福，是你太急，还是你要我提醒？

１８了，不觉得有什么大改变，没多皱纹，没腰酸背痛，也没变有钱。只是觉得从今天起，我做什么都得三思而后行，因为一不小心就要吃（政府的nasi lemak lo)。

愿望嘛，也没什么，就是以后爸妈能记得我的生日，以后不用自己过生日就好了，还是有朋友在身边最好。

When the DEMON is being revived.

Today went to Putrajaya International Convension Centre for JPA interview. It was a tired trip because with a full formal attire, I was so hot on the way to there. I was set in the noon interview session which start at 3p.m but I was arrived there at 1.15p.m. I was so boring because nothing can I do. I saw a lot of nerdy there but gorgeous as well. They brought the co-curricular cerificates as much as they can but I don't the panels will give a damn care on them. The interview group of mine consisted 5 people including myself. I'm the only boy and the only one who takes Tourism. The lovely chinese girl who sat beside me so surprised when I used Mandarin to talk with her. The panels were so nice and friendly but one of them thought I'm a Malay. ( What the fuck, in one hour, two people thought I'm a Malay). They asked this and that. So I answered : BLA BLA BLA..... Now I'm siting in my room, facing my computer and waiting for the reply from JPA. The result will out at the third week of May. What a long time to wait. I study form 6 while waiting for their reply.

First time in my life

I feel very nervous in this momment. I'm going to attend an interview session tomorrow but right now, my nervous is getting stonger and has conquered my body. I can't sleep well and so scare of what I will say during the interview. I'm very good when dealing with my friends and teachers but this time, it's the JPA staffs. I don't know what can I do to keep the nervous away but what I must do now is think of what I have to say soon. I have prepared it well physically but not mentally. I don't what will happen tomorrow but I hope everything will get fine soon.

Wallet-bleeding

Today went to Kajang to buy some formal wears for interview on Wednesday. I have bought a formal slack and a formal shoe. It was a damn boring trip because my stupid friend has left me alone to go Penang. I have total spent RM150 for those things. My wallet is still bleeding even right now also. Damn it, do this interview really that important? Remember don't wish my luck because I no need luck to get the scholarship. ( Trying to be cool but I'm actually ain't cool)

Gosh

The date when I have to attend the JPA's interview is coming soon. Three days more and I will go to Putrajaya to be interviewed by those staffs. Up till now, the documents I need haven't I complete yet. I have started to get nervous straight to my spine. I have started to wonder what kind of things I should say in front of them. What excuse I should give to support myself in choosing the Tourism course and what can I do to give them an extreme impression. I think is time for me to write some scripts and practise in front the mirror.

思念，是一种病？

朋友说我的"部落"太过"鸡肠"。今天就来点新的，别的。思念是一种病，张震岳唱出我的心声，带出我的想念。可笑吧，连我这种时常搞得别人不悦的人也会想念他人。今年的年头，各路朋友都各忙各的。有的，当兵去。有的，干活儿去。也有的，闷去。我心中的那份思念，想念全都涌了出来。平时欺负的，好想念。平时聊开的，好思念。如今，那份感觉更强了。我想你，你懂吗？其实，懂不懂，明不明都无所谓。只要你在孤单时，偶尔想起你有过我这样的朋友就行了。

What a day

Today went to Metro Point. The main purpose we actually wanna do is to discuss the interview things but in the end it's ended up with Sushi King for lunch and Baskin Robin for desert. It was my first time to have Baskin Robin, it was just normal ice cream but with more flavours. Went to Metro Plaza to buy something for my friend. I wish to buy her a handbag but the price is OH MY GOD. So I decided to buy a school bag which she will need it. It's the mix of pink and grey and I hope she will like it when she get it. Just hope she will get it soon.