I can no longer tell which is the truth

I don't know, I don't know why. Maybe you really is that open-minded and still can act like nothing happen. Maybe you need my help, that's why you still so good to me. I don't know and really don't want to think of it. I feel so uneasy when you leave me by myself and do your own thing. I feel so happy when you call or text me and ask me questions. But don't only come to me when you need my help. I really don't know what I am to you. A life buoy?

My life

We got our own life to live with and everyone is different and unique. Mine is just simple and easy. Not a good looking dude so I don't have a lot of girls screaming and chasing me from behind. Not a rich kid so I no need to scare burglar to enter my house or being kidnapped by someone. That's my life.

It's so ordinary and simple. Between the ordinary and simple, I found happiness and enjoyment. I'm not a hot dude, but I got a lot of gorgeous hotties friends with me. I'm not the rich one, but the money I have is enough for me to enjoy my life.

My life is simple. Every time when I pass by a mirror, I'll look at it and say to myself, I'm NOT THAT BAD, WHY I', STILL SINGLE? Funny right, when you hear that from the mouth of me. It's just a way I use to keep myself confident. LOL

Every time I look at my cell phone contact, I mumble, WHO SHOULD I sms WITH? It's so ironic that I end up with no reply from the one I send sms. It's normal because everyone is so busy with their own business.

That's how my life is. Wondering why I'm still willing to live on. Maybe it's so simple, I just want to know how my life will change and I'm willing to experience every moment though it may be a worst one.

MY favourite quote is ' regretless is better than sadness' and I always follow it whenever I do or decide something. But this time, I really feel like I DON'T WANT SADNESS ANYMORE. Loneliness make me lost my mind and did something sad to me. I slept at 12 midnight and woke up at 2.30 morning to watch the stupid football match. I text her and said something I didn't plan to say it this fast.

My mind was out of control, my fingers were following my heart and I fell into you.

It needs reason to like someone? I like my parents because they are my parents. I like my friends because they are my friends. I like you, because you are who you are and it's my heart's fault which make me like you.

We just remain the same, as friend maybe is the best way for us. Maybe.........

Maybe you will read this post, but please don't misunderstand anything. It's not your fault or mine. It's just I got no that kind of YUAN to be with you. I blame no one and I thank you for made me awake from my dream.

Hope or just illusion

They say it might be the very first hope to me. I say it's just another illusion the demon give me to depress my life.

Initially, I can't get that illusion because I got no feeling towards you. As time passed, I finally realised it's real. You are just that lovely to me and make me want to give you all my care to you. You hair, it's that sweet and nice. You hands, they are so soft and weak.

Is it hope you give me? Or I mistook your kindness as hope?

I dare not to dream of it. I dare not to think of it. I only dare to appreciate the moment we share and the relationship we have.

To be honest, I really wish it's hope rather than illusion. But my sixth sense told me that I will only get failure again.