Sad

We only will regret and sad after you lost somethings important. I'm so down now because I'm in such situation now. There were some wonderful passages I wrote years ago and today I have the idea to read back what I have written. But unfortunately, all of them disappear because I format-ed my computer and deleted my old blog. What even worse is I didn't share it to anyone else. So it's kind of ' DIE BEFORE IT CAN SERVE' . I learn my lesson this time and I will start to make copy in the future. Really so sad because those passages were written during my darkest age. I can't write back suck emotion and down passage anymore.

Finding-->upgrading-->installing-->finishing

People always find for what they want. Yet youth nowadays don't really know what they want. What in their mind is what they don't want and what they hate. You can simply ask a current Form 5 or Form 6 about what they want to do after their public exam. What you can expect from them is, ' I don't know. I will let my result to decide' or ' I will decide when the time come'.

Their mind is so shallow that only can put in their emotion. Yes, they might still young. But if you don't think while you are young, it's too late when you got no time for it. One of my friends said, 'I'm not sure whether there's tomorrow or not, so why do I have to think about the future?' If everyone only appreciate today but not thinking of the tomorrow, guess what will happen to our world.

Those scientists who invented so many useful stuff because they believe there's tomorrow and we need to think what tomorrow need. So think it now and plan for it.

Technology nowadays is getting more and more yet there's still a lot of space to improve. Human too should upgrade themselves mentally. We should prepare our mind so that it fit the current society. Conservative and narrow minded people will only block the flow of success. We need to keep upgrading so that we can have the same speed with the development. Those who can't will only get in the way.

21st century is no more the era for those spoon feeder. Success won't come just because you urge for it and pray so hard to God. Do it yourself with full of enthusiasm and confidence will lead you the path of succeed. Those who keep depending on others will only cause doom to themselves when there's no one else for them to cling. Think deeply from your heart if you wish to keep living on in this world which strong leads and weak serves.

I'm just a mere teenager but only think deeply into my future. You can say I'm an ego ass but you can't deny the way this world is. You maybe rich enough to live without doing any job but your heart and life is so empty that nothing can fit it. Those with dream and work hard for it will stab you just to let you wake up from that stupidity.

Another day I get motivated

Today is the day where the STPM result being released. It's kind of early this year because it's still February yet the result is out. Though I shouldn't be the one that concern this so much but it kind of attract my attention.

Around 11a.m, the result is out yet I'm not in the place to see it live but I get to know the result from my friend. Glad to hear that many students managed to get a 3 pointed while none of them get 4 flat.

I don't know why but the result seems to leave me an impact. I need to do my very best if not I will regret for my life. Though I always do my best yet this time really make me really really want to do it. I can't afford to lose even for once. Not that because I'm too ego and wanted to win so much but my life and my future really is depends on this time. If I fall, then darkness shall with me forever.

I hope friends around can also take this as a lesson not to treat STPM like something that looks small and meaningless.

P/S: Get motivated always but not always do thing for good.

The first time

It's my first time that I celebrate Valentine. I don't know is there any meaning because everyday it's special day for me and her. Present or gift don't mean everything but my love to you it is. I said your handmade things are lame because I don't want you to waste your time and your sleeping hour.

Maybe no one tells you before, I'm willing to spend my money until I'm broke. I'm willing to spend my time from day to night for you. I even willing to think so hard for every special event that related to us.

This is my first Valentine with you. I gave you this and that because I think you deserve them. I
care of you and tolerate you because you are the special girl for me.

I hope that I'll get your tolerate and considerate towards my lifestyle and attitude because I'm not the perfect match for you. I sorry for what I did that sadden your heart in the past 7 months and thank you for the forgiveness you always give.

I thanks for the gift you gave. I'm so happy that you did cared of what I need. I want no repay from you but your forgiveness. Thanks.

Holidays

It's so fast that 2011 Chinese New Year has came and there are still 2 days before my school reopen. It's kind of bored because I have never gone through this short of CNY holidays before. Can you imagine that the school is going to reopen on the 5th day of CNY? I guess all of us have no such thought before.

Talk about this year CNY, it's kind of sad. Too short for holiday too fast for everyone. In the previous years, you can feel the air is full with CNY feeling. But this year CNY is too fast,even
the shop's owners haven't take down the decoration of Christmas and New Year. It's so lame that I got nothing to do in this CNY.

I spent my first day of CNY in my grandma's house. To be more precise, I only spent 2 hours at there. That's the only thing in I did in my CNY. The rest of the days of CNY will be stayed in my house until the school reopen.

It's not like I got no place to go and spend, it's just that I feel so bored and lazy to go out. Maybe as I grow older I have became so-called uncle. Do you feel that I like your parents? Instead of spending time outside, I rather stay in my house watching TV or just sleep.

By the way, to all my friends who zodiac horoscope is Monkey, we will have a good luck in our career. Kind of ironic that most of us only have one career which is student. In term of love, it's kind of OK OK. Those who are single, do keep an eye to those who close to you. Talk about money, 2011 is not our year.

Overall, Monkey has a average year in 2011. It's just a reference and don't take it serious. Here, I wish everyone has a great year and prosperity be with you all.

Oh gosh.......

First time of driving is god damn nervous. The weather was hot and the Kancil is god damn small. My driving tutor is a mid-aged uncle with a quite big size. My L licence is also freaking ugly. I don't what the fuck had they did with my picture.

Before everything starts, I was given a lot of theory about how to deal with the gear. This and that and finally, my turn to drive. First thing I did before the car move was the turned off of engine by me. LOL~~~ Well, it was my first time so don't laugh at me.

I don't know what to say about my performance. If I were given mark out of 100, I think this will be the first time I fail any of the tests. ><....

I have unique feet which are wider than others. So I keep accidentally press the accelerate paddle when I want to break. What a troublesome problem I'm having. It's also quite hard to balance the clutch and accelerate paddle. Maybe due to the testerone in my body, my leg keep pressing the accelerate paddle so hard. The most dangerous thing was that I like to press the accelerate paddle but not break.

I think I need to work out of it seriously before the next lesson. But where to get a car to practise? Anyone is willing to lend me their car for practise? I promise will not make scratch on your car or spoil your engine.

Well

At first, I was going to write this post in Chinese. But guess that it's been a while for me not to type in Chinese, my skill has became so suck. So that's what you can see now.

One of my friends always say that being a kid is the happiest thing in life. In contrast, I like to be an adult who able to do things that kids can't. ( Don't have the wrong idea that my brain is full of THOSE stuff ) However, as I grow ( 18 and going to be 19 soon ) many and many of things keep popping out. First is my coming big and last public exam - THE STPM. It's suck that I have never felt this kind of nervous in my life after the UPSR. In the past, I can normally predict where's my standard is but not this time. 6 months have passed and I still don't know the how well can I do in the real exam. Is it my confidence has gone? Or just the cruel reality has made me understand the situation?

Second, I have started to think of the life after this. What should I do while waiting for the result to out? There are some plans in my mind but yet I haven't decide. I was planning to be the temporary teacher in my former primary school. But it seems that I'll get low payment so I have dumped it. Lately, I have heard one of my friends that working as a part time in the casino do earn a lot. This is really something I like to hear of. While earning the money for my further study, I can gain some extraordinary working experience. What do you think?

Well, last and the thing I always talk about, Money. It seems that the university I plan to go have show no decrease in their requirement for the scholarship. Should I keep my head in the same course? There are a lot of elders keep telling me that study in form 6 makes your thought grows. I strongly agree. But it doesn't change my interest and ambition. I'm in Science class but I didn't get any interest in Science. I will still go on for my Hospitality Management or the worst is Public Relationship.

My life is a drama and I'm working hard to be the main character. I got no director or script writer. What I have are you all and myself.